I was one of these 800 riders. However, I was unable to finish due to a sudden dizzy spell and had to take a SAG vehicle back
and, in turn, took me (against my will) to urgent care and abandoned me
there...but after much sleep, I am better now...but alas, it is a
concern seeing that my departure date is 7 weeks away...pray please!
Okay, at the time I was having a back flash to Chicago, where a similar thing happened many years prior. I wanted to finish the ride. I was looking forward to it all year. But alas, there's always next year and I will come back with a vengeance. The club does have a century they do in mid-September that I hope to be a cake walk after I complete 3500 miles on the coast.
Now to a concern. I would be lying if I were to say there is no concerns and I have no doubts about this trip. Things go wrong, yes. But I do get occasional bouts of dizziness that remains undiagnosed. I have not let this condition hinder me, but this condition has hindered me in various ways. I cannot control it. If I could, then there would be no problem. The main problem it seems comes when other people are involved. I am not talking about people close to me like family, but mainly strangers who care. That seems odd, but it is because of them that I end up in urgent care or hospitals when the only cure is to get some rest. Strangers who care are welcomed, but they need to listen to the one who hurts and knows his body more than anyone else but God. Even some doctors who I see could care less and send me off because they are clueless and are busy with other patients and just want the big bucks. Gone are the days that doctors and nurses and people in general genuinely desire to help you as a person rather than be driven by green backs. But strangers who care will come and I will deal with them the best way I know how...with quiet patience.
Should I reconsider this trip with only 7 weeks to go? Should I cancel what I have poured into so much this past year? Whereas sitting back on the couch and watching movies all summer while eating ice cream out of a bowl of comfort sounds so appealing to many (me included), that is a type one fun. Type two fun is where it's not fun at the time, but is only fun in hindsight. Type one fun is having fun in the moment. Type two fun is miserable, trudging across deserts, cycling through mountains, going on grueling expeditions. There may be freezing cold nights, grueling desert heat, hunger, thirst, headaches, breakdowns, tears. They may not be fun at the time, but afterwards, when all is said and done, the experiences, the lessons, the stories, the pictures & videos, the memories, the vast array of newness...live on with you. And it is fun when it is over. There are times when I find myself wanting to quit because I like the idea of sleeping in a warm bed and eating a home-cooked meal. But there is something to be said, a lot to be said about type two fun. Which type of fun do you like to have? And can I persuade you to attempt a type two fun? I have realized a long time ago will continue to learn that the hardships and miseries of life you look back on with the most fondness and happiest memories. So basically, there is a non-negotiable rule that giving up is not really an option. So, just keep going despite being miserable.
What have I to doubt? God has taken me through so much thus far. If God is for me who or what can be against me? My SAG support will be with me. He must be the drive that speaks to my ear the YES and the GO...when I myself doubt and reconsider. There may be no diagnosis to my bouts of dizziness, but I have had them for many many years. Since then, I have rode my bicycle thousands
and thousands of miles, ran in countless races, climbed mountains, swam
rivers, camped in rainstorms, traveled cross country...all not without difficulty, but with
courage and determination...and, though I have had anxiety about what
will happen in 7 weeks, I expect no less from this journey. For God art with me.
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