OVER TO YOU
Right now. Dare you send it?
The letter we're referring to here is a type of resignation letter. It's kind of like a letter to your boss or potential employer saying that, "Hey, this is a great opportunity and I am sure that this would be the most feasible or reasonable choice, but if I don't take my bike trip or travel to Ireland, or write this book or go on this adventure or that...right now, I may never do it and regret it. So thank you for the opportunity and your time, but I am going to respectfully decline. I hope you can understand. Thank you."
These letters may not be easy to draft and send, but sometimes they are needed. If nothing else, I think a letter should be written to yourself, to myself. Dare I send a letter like this to my reasonable self? It may give me more peace of mind to go out and live. A fear is to be stuck in a rut. No one wants to be stagnant. I do not want to be stagnant, stuck in the doldrums of life. Life is meant to be lived, coming to the end exhausted and battered. Dare we send this letter...?
"I'm camping more, I'm skinny dipping more, sea swimming more, bivvying more, and started getting out with the missus and the kids more as well."
"So far, I've got back on my bike for short journeys and said yes when friends have suggested longer rides that scare me a bit. I've bivvied out - only in the back garden so far, but I loved it. The memory still makes me smile. As does the memory of dunking myself in the River Ouse on the way back from work on a particularly warm day a few weeks back. I've texted the drummer I used to have lessons from before life/excuses got in the way. It took a while (two years) for the penny to drop that my intention of practicing every day for a month before treating myself to a lesson just wasn't working. So, I'm booked back in and will start from where I am.
"They're often just little things, but they add up to a lot. They're helping me to shake off the de-fault mode of perfectionist worrier. Things start to feel more exciting, lighter, full of possibilities."
32. Send someone a brief email that will pique their curiosity about an adventure. CC me in if you like: alastairhumphreys+thedoorstepmile@gmail.com
"My dad always wanted to travel. Always. It was his passion and he talked about it constantly. But you know what, he never did it. There was always a reason not to. He couldn't afford it, he had to work, my mum didn't want to go... The day after he retired, he paid off his mortgage then booked his dream trip to America. The day after that, he had a massive heart attack and died."
"What I really want to do is live more adventurously with my two sons (13 and 14)."
"If there was an easy answer... I could likewise quit my job as an engineer (which I have actually considered even though 'not really' when I was mad at my bosses' boss or a stupid big-company-decision). Very unsure on this question."
There's always a reason not to go. There's always a reason not to press 'send.' What's keeping us back? Our comfort? The prospect of danger? The unknown? Why must we think these things? It's our minds. They have a mind of their own. Go figure! I've always said that adventure is 80% mental and perhaps 20% physical. If we can overcome that mental barrier, we are well on our way to accomplishment. Perhaps it's 90% mental. If you believe you can do it, you can! If you believe you cannot, then chances are you will not. I have many adventures up my sleeve. I have to ask the question of what is stopping me from making progress on them. Life gets in the way I suppose. Priorities change and circumstances happen. There's always a reason not to do our dream. What I have to focus on is...what's the reason to do that dream! What's your dream and how will you accomplish it? I love the idea of sending someone a brief email piquing their interest in an upcoming adventure!
33. ---* If you were ordered to start your dream project today, regardless of the obstructions in your way, what would you do?
---* How would you make it happen?
"I have two children, a boy and a girl. My son had cancer when he was a teenager. Although it was awful at the time, the big positive was that he now embraces life and the whole family understands how precious it is."
"I've been doing stuff for years. Overnight wild camps with minimal stuff, paddling village ponds in suburbia, sleeping in hedges, building camps, eating wild food, hitchhiking across Europe. Then I got married and had kids. I had to temper it all a bit because of a boring husband who didn't share the excitement. But the kids are grown up now. I binned the husband, got rid of all of my stuff, left Blighty and regained my freedom. I've rekindled my need to do odd stuff."
Hmm...I have a restless spirit. I've been off the road for a long time. Perhaps that is what I need...an order to start my dream project. Bicycle across southern Canada, hike down the AT, bike across southern USA and hike up the PCT, all in one trip...can it be done? In a year? Who knows. That would be my idea of an ultimate challenge. I wonder...I wonder...who would come with me? Who would support me? What about my motivations? There's clearly smaller and other adventures I can do along the way. Many more bike and hike trips, write a book, start a ministry/business, create a website and a blog following...so many things on my mind. Where do I start? That is the question I always come back to. Sometimes I think there's too much that I don't know where to start...I wonder, I wonder...
34. ---* What practical planning steps do you need to get on with?
---* List them, rank them, then take action on number 1.
"I think the next step I should take is to plan a three to four day bike trip. Usually, this is as far as it gets. I think about it for too long, get excited looking at maps and routes and things, and then it just becomes the best trip I never had!
"I know what I have to do to make it happen, but it usually comes to nothing. I need to follow things through and put some excitement and memories into my 'one wild and precious life.'"
"I need to do more otherwise I'm going to go crazy. Your newsletters and website are a good motivator, I've got more ideas and useful tips from there but now to put them into practice..."
I think the next step I should also take is to plan a three to four day bike trip. Because, why not? Even though we are approaching the colder months, this will be a good step...a chance to get me back on my feet, or saddle if it were! I have been riding some shorter rides, but something seems off. Consistency is the key. I'm approaching 22,000 miles on my bike computer. Bike, walk and move. There are many parks and campgrounds near me that I can utilize, even during this time of pandemic living. Thinking about it for too long is dangerous because it usually never comes to fruition then. A few other things I can do include writing an outline to my book, figuring out the format I want to write, and speaking of writing I can complete some lists and my adventure board to see what I want to do and accomplish.
35. What are you over-thinking and over-planning? How can you simplify it? What would happen if you stopped planning and began?
"I don't feel like I need to make a fundamental change to anything big. My life is pretty settled. I have an amazing family, a wonderful group of friends, a job I enjoy, a house/car/motorbike and good health. On paper, I have an almost perfect life! I feel that the biggest change I need to make is to my mindset. I need to recognize that for most things in life, the time is now! I need to stop finding excuses, and I need to stop putting things off. The many things that I have always wanted to do are within reach. The only thing that stops them happening is me!"
"I have generally played safe for most of my life (I'm the wrong side of 50 now). Dutiful daughter/wife/mother. I used to have dreams but other things got in the way."
I am an over-thinker. I know this about myself. However, I'm not much of an over-planner. I like to think I know how to plan. In fact, the planning stage is my favorite. It's fun. I think that is what makes it easier for me. I know what I want and then I plan and do. But the over-thinking is what traps me. Sometimes, I just need to throw caution to the wind and go. Too few people stay and not enough go. Close the laptop, turn off your TV or phone and head out the door into the unknown. Find a new street, a new park, a new corner of your world to explore. 'Never Stop Exploring,' is hung in my office/library and it is a reminder to go in search of experiences and memories. I have loads of maps that I love to spend time pouring over with a cup of tea. I want to somehow photograph my map collection and turn it into a project of some sort. I'm not quite sure how that will look, but stuff like that gets me excited. What would happen if I stopped planning and began? That is such a brilliant question, isn't it? What if...let's ponder that shall we?
36. When have you shied away from doing something because it wouldn't be perfect? Would 'good' have been a preferable outcome to not done at all?
"I felt like I needed to take better care of myself and slow time down a bit so I decided my 40s would be about 'Mind, Body and Soul' - learning to live in the present moment and appreciating my health and fitness while I have it. Spending time in nature brings all of those things together."
"In my 30s I fell in love with a girl who loves nature but who also likes her home comforts. The sort of adventures I used to relish didn't fit anymore. And without any angst or remorse or even any intention, I gave them up. She was far more important. I was in love.
"We still had small adventures, (festivals, strange foreign holidays, picnics in the snow on the beach in February) and bigger adventures (buying our first home, getting married) and the biggest adventure of all (having our son), but there just wasn't the space available for the sort of adventures I used to take when I was younger. And then 15 years went by and now I'm in my late 40s, I'm ten years married, my son is five. I have a good bunch of friends, I have an unremarkable but relatively easy job, I'm not rich but we get by quite happily. I live a comfortable life, in a comfortable home, in a comfortable village. I'm overweight, underfit and starting to feel like the middle-class, middle-aged, older dad that I am."
Indeed, when thinking about writing a book of my adventures, a type of memoir if you will, the over-thinking stage sets in. What if it's not right? Ah, done is always better than perfect. One could spend eternity perfecting something, but it would never see the light of day. A preferable method is to complete something, then move on to the next project. That is something I am learning as a perfectionist. I like things to be just right, to be perfect. But I know that they will never be. I can write and get terrible reviews, but in the end it will be my project, something I have worked toward. But if I never put it out there, a fear comes up. Right? What happens if I fall? Ah, but what if you fly? I have to learn to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep at it. Keep pressing on. Life doesn't stand still for us to contemplate our mistakes. Yes, we learn from them. But life keeps ticking away. How will I make the most of it?
37.
'Living adventurously is as easy as this...'
"Due to the influence of your emails, I talked a mate into the idea of a big off-road ultra run next summer. We run once a week independently, keep each other updated and add distance each week. Then we meet to run together whenever we both reach the next big target (two hours, three hours etc.)"
"Finding ways to live joyfully regardless of the commitments I have that 'tie' me down. Cultivating relationships with people who inspire me and encourage me to live my most adventurous life."
"I quit my job last year. Traveled, went hugely out of my comfort zone teaching English in Myanmar for some of it. And I'm now back where I was, except unemployed! Maybe potential employers will see it as a 1.5 years of idiotic career break, with me pretending to be 21 again (I'm sadly that plus 10). But I have zero regrets over my decision."
"I actually went and climbed a tree. Kids were watching telly or on their devices (both probably). So I walked in and said, 'who wants to climb a tree?' Hell yes! We ran down to the park, picked a tree that looked rather tame and started up it. Didn't take long before I was more than a little intimidated but buzzing with excitement (tree quite a bit bigger from up here). So easy to get a thrill like this. People were walking by, squinting up at us whooping up in the foliage... Pretty irresponsible for a 45-year-old dad, huh?"
'Who wants to climb a tree?' Adventure is as easy as that, isn't it? I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I climbed a tree. When we think of tree climbing, we usually think that's a silly children's activity. But we must understand that we must become like little children to find that wonder we've been striving for. Isn't adventure, at it's very core, childlike? I think it is. This has inspired me to find a tree near me to climb. I don't know where, but I'm sure it's out there somewhere. Adventure is as easy as walking. It's as easy as calling up a buddy to meet at a pub to hatch a plan. Adventure is as easy as cycling a few minutes outside the city to see the sunset. Living adventurously is as easy as walking outside your door! Living adventurously is finding something new to do, exploring a new avenue of life, getting reacquainted with something old, laughing with friends, making a fire, watching a sunrise, stargazing, reminiscing about life and planning the future. Living adventurously is adducting. It is not something old, nor is it something new. It just is. It can be as easy as...what?
38. The idea of living adventurously reminds me of skinny dipping. What's a comparative metaphor in your own life? What is your version of flinging off the towel of respectability and leaping in?
"Make a commitment to get out of the house and into the wilds once a week as a matter of habit."
"Looking at my own life, in my late 50s I realize I probably have only one or two decades to enjoy good health and energy. Money and time are not the obstacles. It's facing the fear of breaking out of the routine and being perceived as crazy and irresponsible by others."
Habit is where it's at. Looking at my own life, I realize I need to create better habits. Getting out of the house once a week into the wilds or countryside sounds like a fantastic commitment! I don't really mind being pegged as crazy or irresponsible. If people want to view me that way, that's their prerogative. But I can't let that get in the way of jumping into a river or climbing a tree or spending my summer vacation cycling across Canada. That was a fun summer and I look forward to when I can do something similar. Atlantic Coast anyone? As the saying goes, 'we're not getting any younger.' Yeah it's a joke, but it's also very much real. I don't wish to follow everyone else. I don't wish to strive for the American Dream. I view it as the American Nightmare. I want to act, I want to experience life. I want to create memories and live. I don't want someone else to live for me or tell me how to live. That's what society does. It tells us how we are supposed to live. It's littered all through our media. People don't live for themselves. They live under the guise of something or someone else. We're not robots. We have our wills, especially in this country. What's stopping us from living adventurously?
39. ---* What do you dream of that is simple but not easy?
---* What is the Doorstep Mile action for that dream?
"Okay, so this seems a bit weird emailing someone I don't know about my life but hey, my thinking is that if someone (and that means anyone) knows about my plan then it might just happen!
"I need to get all these thoughts out of my brain and this seems like a good, albeit odd way to do that."
"I've been a lawyer for the last 18 years since I came out of university. I love it and hate it in equal parts. I have 5-year-old twins who I barely see because life is so busy. I'm overweight (by a lot), generally tired and lacking in much mojo to do anything after work apart from eat sleep and repeat.
"I want to change that as I want to be a good role model for my children, lose weight so I can stay around for as long as possible and watch them grow up. So how do I weave adventure into my everyday life? I walk to work listening to the sounds of nature but it's not enough. I turned my desk to face the window so I can watch the sky and the trees whilst I write reports. But it's still not enough so I am going to commit to getting out on my bike everyday for the next month and then see where that takes me. It may just be a ten minute ride round the block or maybe a longer ride to the seafront. I'm hoping I can take my little ones with me on some of the rides so we can spend some quality time together rather than me just coming home and putting them to bed."
A doorstep mile for me is to eat healthy, exercise more and lose my extra pounds. Once I am no longer overweight, it will be easier for me to get outdoors and do the things I enjoy. I will have more energy. My wife and I desire to do this together as we look forward to starting a family in the near future. I want to be around for my future kids and live an active lifestyle like we were created for. My bike sits neglected at times and I need to get in control of my body, my health and my mind. I think that is what I need to focus on. That, as well as writing a book. I need to do a brain dump. I have my rugged journals from my trips but I wish to turn them either into one book or many books. I want to write down my experiences and dates from growing up to possibly write a memoir for my kids. My head is full of stuff that needs to be brought out and my body is full of stuff that needs to be weeded out...Let's do this!
40. ---* What is your Doorstep Mile action?
I want more challenge in my life. Challenges keep me going. It is what spawns growth. It is what stretches me like gumby. I have a list of challenges, local and otherwise that I wish to accomplish. I think a good doorstep mile would be to write them on the calendar. Pick a date to strive for and then train, ride, walk, write, read, exercise the mind and work towards endurance. I can do it. We can do it. You Can do it. We've got this. I want to be proud of myself, my body, my spirit, who I have become and will become as a husband, a man of God, a disciple. Every body matters and I want to show that mine is not useless, but useful and vital to utmost degree. Let us open the door and step out...
What's your doorstep mile? What are you striving towards? Open the door and step out...
"I have decided to challenge myself to walk every street in my city (about 3000 streets). Every day I try to walk a minimum of one new road. 98.5% still to go. But it has opened my eyes to the place I live."
"We are heading in different directions to the same place, lol. That's possible right? Haha!
"I'm trying to get off the page and into action. To begin living after an empty nest."
"I find it difficult to put aside the fears and focus on the benefits and excitement of an adventure, however big or small."
"I would like to like myself, to be proud of myself once more when I walk out the door."
---* When will you have done it by?
